How do you make your life your own? The world tells us all the time how our lives should be. Social media shows us highlight reels of our friends, family, and strangers. It also shows us the low times and the dark, dirty parts of life. As a child, I did not have a highlight-reel kind of life.
My parents were divorced. My father—where I truly believe I got my AUDHD from—quickly married the woman he was having an affair with. My mother found a man pretty quickly and spent the next 15 years saying yes to him and no to me. I will get into that more later. All that to say, I dreamed of a “normal” life. I wanted the real family thing. I wanted two parents who cared about me and my life and worked for opportunities for me to do amazing things.
That was not my reality. I was called dramatic a lot. My mother will still tell you that I could win an Academy Award for my dramatic performances. My father never said that. From my adult perspective, he understood my deep NEED for something to be a certain way. As a child, unable to truly communicate my needs, I was labeled dramatic, stupid, argumentative, rude, and messy; my mother would still tell you I am all of these things.
What doctors don’t tell you when you receive a diagnosis is that some people will never believe you or care. You will lose lots of friends. What surprised me—but not really—was my mother not listening with an open mind. When I tried to tell her things that made me uncomfortable, I was met with lots of anger.
So what have I learned in the past year?
I have the perfect family I’ve always dreamed about: A partner who is working to understand me better and two amazing daughters whom God made sure are complete opposites.
n conclusion, embracing our unique journeys allows us to redefine what “normal” means on our terms while finding joy in life’s complexities—even amidst chaos! Life may throw challenges at us along the way but fostering meaningful connections helps navigate through them as we create our beautiful chaos together.
